Without Love

2 Samuel chapter 13 verses 1 through 22.

This is the word of the Lord. Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar. And after a time, Amnon, David's son, loved her.

And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.

But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shemaiah, David's brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man.

And he said to him, O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me? And Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

Jonadab said to him, Lie down in your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat and prepare the food in my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand.

So Amnon laid down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight that I may eat from her hand.

Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go to your brother Amnon's house and prepare food for him. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house when he was lying down.

And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat.

And Amnon said, Send out everyone from me. So everyone went out from him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food into the chamber that I may eat from your hand.

And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon, her brother. But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, Come lie with me, my sister.

She answered him, No, my brother, do not violate me for such a thing is not done in Israel. Do not do this outrageous thing. Ask for me.

Where could I carry my shame? And ask for you. You would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.

But he would not listen to her. And being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred.

So that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he loved her. And Amnon said to her, Get up.

Go. But she said to him, No, my brother, for this is wrong. And sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me. But he would not listen to her.

He called the young man who served him and said, Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her. Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves. For thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed.

So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.

And her brother Absalom said to her, Has Amnon, your brother, been with you? Now hold her peace, my sister. He is your brother.

Do not take this to heart. So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house. When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry.

But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar.

We read things like this. There are a lot of horrible things that happen that are like this in our world today.

Terrible things. If you ever hear or read about sex trafficking. I just read something about the area of Houston.

And the massive number of disappearing young ladies in the city of Houston. Especially Spring and the Woodlands area. It's sad.

That is just a terrible thing to hear. My father now works for the Missouri Baptist Children's Home. It's something that I didn't realize before he started working for them.

It's that they have a major... One of their major works now is in sex trafficking. In working with ladies coming off of... In the sex trafficking industry.

If you want to call it that. Or some of those other issues. You know, prostitution. Those kinds of things. And working with people like that. And I think it's a wonderful ministry.

And the stories you hear from those things. Either there or a person I know in Tulsa that works in a group like that. But these are just horrible, horrible pieces of news to hear.

And then to turn the subject around. We hear of also other news. You know, just two weeks ago. There was a young lady named Ariana Grande. That had a concert in Manchester, England.

And at about the end of the concert. I guess it was the end of the concert. It became the end of the concert. There was an attack on that concert.

And several people died. Quite a few. Actually, I think 20, I believe. And it's a terrible thing. We just... You know, it's been continuing to be talked about the last couple of weeks. And then last night.

Just this morning, I guess. Less than 24 hours ago. Another attack in London. It's a horrible thing. It's a terrible atrocity. There's a movie that...

That I can't say I like so much. But I do appreciate. It's called Hotel Rwanda. And there's a scene in it. Where a British TV news crew is daringly filming something that is extremely tragic.

Now, Hotel Rwanda is from the mid-90s. The movie's later on. But it's from the Rwanda, horrible Rwanda atrocities that happened in the 1990s with genocide.

And there's two people groups, the Hutus and the Tutsis. And for some reason, they had major problems with one another. Even though they say they're from very different people groups.

But they're really not. And there's quite a story behind that. But in that time period, the Hutu people had the upper hand.

And they were just simply wanting to wipe out the Tutsis. And wipe that entire people group out. And the interesting thing is they're from the same people group.

And it's a horrible situation. And that movie portrayed that. And portrayed a man who was really quite the hero who managed a hotel there. And his name was Paul.

And Paul was talking to a British TV news crew that was staying there at the hotel. And they had filmed this horrible scene that just happened about half a mile from the hotel.

As the news crew snuck out of the hotel and just filmed it. And Hutu people killing the Tutsi people. And it was ugly. Even in that movie, it was pretty ugly.

And the Rwanda hotel manager, Paul, is praising this cameraman, whose name is Jack, for being able to shoot this footage. And then sending it off to Great Britain and then also to the rest of Europe and North America.

So there will be an intervention. I mean, this information is going to the West. They're seeing what's actually happening. So they can intervene in Rwanda and save these people.

And Jack, the cameraman, he shares doubt that there would be such an intervention. And Paul gives this line. How can they not intervene when they witness such atrocities?

And Jack says this. Well, I think if people see this footage, they'll say, oh, that's horrible. And then go on eating their dinners.

Now, that's maybe a cynical line. And it's a pretty cynical movie as well. But in truth, avoidance or escape is a common response when we in the West hear of such atrocities that happen.

You know, we are constantly bombarded with all kinds of news. You know, we have access right here in Bartlesville to a number of news sites that, I mean, I guess other people have access to thanks to the Internet.

But, I mean, we just have Voice of the Martyrs over there that we hear of all kinds of things. And we have access to hearing to all kinds of things that happen that can be terrible, terrible atrocities, as Paul said in this film.

But how often do we allow that to change our thought process or change our behavior?

Change the things we do. The things we pray for. The amount of time we pray for things. That's a tough thing to ask.

Hurts me too. in some fashion, Tamar and the people around, to set up a scene to where he can be alone with his half-sister.

And so we may look at this, or someone may look at this, and see a few things like this, and see the trickery, and see the interesting elements of that, and not even see the absolute horror that happens in this particular scene.

See, there's a young lady, and she comes, and she's simply doing what she is told. She is the daughter of a king. She is a very beautiful woman, and you would think, well, she's got it easy.

She has it totally easy. Well, you know, maybe more than others, perhaps, in comparison, but it doesn't mean she didn't work. And here she is being asked to come and to take care of an ailing brother.

Perhaps an unusual request, but what's the harm? One might ask. Who's going to think of anything happening? There's plenty of other people there. Amnon has servants.

Tamar has servants. And so what's going to happen? And yet, he's seeing her working. He's seeing her kneading that dough. And he's already lusting after her in great ways.

And he comes, asks her to feed it to him because he's so weak. Do you notice how many times in there he's just so weak he can't do anything?

He doesn't want to hear all those people in there. He can't even lift that cake to his mouth. And so, he's setting up that great scene.

He's setting up the scene to do exactly what he wants to do to her in a self-satisfying way. Not taking into any consideration, really, even the next day or two.

I mean, honestly, it's just, it's the moment that matters. And only the moment that matters. And it's horrible atrocity.

And we don't want to overlook that. Now, there's some obvious insights in this passage. There's quite a few more than what I have listed here. But, and some of them you may think, why in the world are you saying it?

We've been studying this book chapter by chapter. We already know that. But the first obvious in this passage, if you look in verse 1, they are obviously a family. You're like, okay, of course, they're obviously a family.

But just verse 1 makes a big deal. If you didn't know anything about this book, if you didn't know anything about what was going on beforehand, and you just looked at this passage in chapter 13, it's obvious that they are a family.

It says, Now Absalom, David's son, had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar. And at the time, after a time, Amnon, David's son, loved her.

So, unless we're talking about two Davids here, there's Absalom and there's Amnon, who are both David's son. And Absalom has a sister named Tamar.

Well, what does that make Absalom and Tamar to Amnon? Obviously, siblings going on. And really, in short, they are half-siblings.

If you look back in chapter 3 of this book, you would find a place where David, the sons that David has with the wives that he has before or during his reign in Hebron when he was reigning over the kingdom of Judah alone.

And there were six sons to six wives. We talked about this a few chapters ago when we were talking about the fact that he practiced polygamy. And so, his first son in that list is Amnon, which makes Amnon the crown prince.

And then there's a second son that is never named ever again. His name is Chiliab. I have no idea what happens to him. Nobody else does. And then there is Absalom, the third son.

And we are to believe that these are actually in birth order. And so, here's Absalom. And then, also something we'll learn next week, Absalom's mother is the daughter of the king of Geshur, which is a northern kingdom, a very small kingdom in the Syria area, north of Israel.

So, that's an interesting idea there, the fact that David really wasn't supposed to do that, but he did anyway. All right, so, there's Absalom and Tamar.

And it says that Tamar is very beautiful. And that's why Amnon has fallen in love with her. And it also, there's an obvious thing too, that they're a powerful family, that they're a king, that David is a king.

If you look back, if you look further on, you will see several times where it says, David the king, or the king, that kind of situation. And so, if somebody didn't know anything about this chapter, or anything about the Bible, they would definitely see something, that this is a royal line that's talked about as well.

And that's important for us to remember as well, because this is a group of people that had a lot of privilege, that really did have a lot of things going for them, that others did not.

And so, you know, there's several things that they could have. Amnon could have pretty much had his pick of about any woman he wanted. I mean, Tamar, was she the only beautiful woman out there?

No. So, you know, he could have had his pick of other ladies out there. And so, why in the world is he focusing on just this one? He was the crown prince. Because I highly doubt most of the ladies in Israel are saying, we don't want anything to do with that guy at all.

Well, you know, before chapter 13. So, that's basically, you know, he's the crown prince. They want to be married to him. They want to have that privilege. And so, there's, it's an interesting thing that's going on there.

But, at the same time, for someone that may not know anything about chapter 13 and know about Israel and know about what the purpose of Israel and what the, you know, what the value is as well.

The difference they are to everyone else. You know, they are God's chosen people. They are, you know, this is a special thing. And the king of God's chosen people, the king of God's land, is really not the king, not the main king.

God is the king. He is going to be under the king. He is to be following after God. He is to be representing God to his people. And so, when the people come to him with a concern, as he is the ultimate judge of that kingdom, as any king would be, when they come to him with a concern, he needs to be taking it to God before bringing it back to them, especially major concerns.

So, this is something that needs to be happening. And if you look in chapter 13, at least the part that we read, do you see God in there at all? No.

This is a godless passage. Really, it's a godless chapter. And I'll tell you, the next time God's even named is well into chapter 14, and it's breaking the third commandment.

So, it's not, this is not a very good time to be talking about. And especially, we just left chapter 12 where he had a beautiful scene of repentance, a beautiful and wonderful thing going on.

And now we have this idea as well, this chapter 13, terrible atrocities going on. And we also see something else too, even though it says all kinds of things about loving.

Verse 1, Amnon loving Tamar. And just loving her. Using that word love. It's still quite obvious even to someone casually reading this passage of scripture, if it happened to be in a newspaper someplace and they never have heard the Bible before, it's pretty obvious that there is no such thing, no such sign or hint of any kind of love in this passage at all.

There is no love in this passage. This passage is, as the title says of this message, without love. And this love is perverse love.

It's lust. And I think anybody can see that. And of course, it's worth also noting that Tamar was absolutely abused and disgraced as well.

And it only took a few minutes for her life to be changed completely. Here she was before, a valued asset to her kingdom.

A valued young lady. A beautiful young lady. A royal young lady. Not from one line, but from two lines. This is a valued person.

Treasured. But when she was violated, no longer valued. No longer treasured. This is absolutely a horrible scene.

You notice in verse 14, you see the main verse. Really, verses 14 and 15. It said that Amnon would not listen to Tamar.

And being stronger than she, he violated her and he lay with her. Amnon hated her with very great hatred.

So that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. Now, he didn't love her at all.

So he didn't have to hate her very much in order for her to hate her more than he loved her. But now it's used the same way as verse 1, the word love. So it's really this passionate, lustful, perverse love.

Which was great in verse 1, but now even greater hatred than that massive, perverse love in verse 1.

Nasty, nasty, nasty situation. And so, how quickly can, just through an act of violence, just through 5 minutes, 10 minutes, whatever it might be.

Can major change happen from lusting to hate and wanting to have nothing to do with someone. Than that victim, being a prized person in the kingdom of Israel, to an absolute disgrace.

It's a terrible thing. We want to look at several different points that come out in this story. And I've labeled them all with the word without.

The first one is passion without devotion. You look at verses 1 and 2. You see that coming across in Amnon, in the character of Amnon.

And you see that he loved Tamar with his passionate, lustful desire. And you see this desire doing something more than just being in his head.

It's now starting to torment him physically. That he is so longing, so longing for this young lady. That he is making himself ill because of it.

And he loved her. Or he lusted after her. And he couldn't have her for a good reason. She was a virgin woman. She was protected by the kingdom.

Amnon was not the king. He was the crown prince. He had to obey his father David, the king. And David protected the virgin young ladies in his royal line, in his family.

And they were highly prized and highly protected in this way. And so there was a protection there that did not allow him to be able to see her on a regular basis. There was a huge entourage that came with her.

So if he ever saw her, it was at a distance. A lot of entourage people with her, even with him as well. And so major protection was going on. So he couldn't figure out how in the world he was to see her.

He was to have her. He was to do what he wanted to with her at all. And also you notice as well, you may see something that is ill, that is gross sounding.

But nonetheless, you don't see anything more than just something that's going on in the head. Something that's going on with thoughts. And something that, you know, you don't see that it's going to turn into a rape situation at all.

And so that's something worth pointing out as well. But passion without devotion in this situation. And there's all kinds of things in the world today.

All kinds of people in the world that have great passion, great love for people, great, you know, desire for people without the devotion necessary.

You know, it says there's a very important passage of scripture that we all need to understand when it comes to a mate, when it comes to being devoted.

It says a man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become one flesh. They are beginning a family. There is a commitment. And it is a lifetime commitment.

And even so much that it says that God hates for that commitment to be broken. And that's a tough one for us to hear about. But it is nonetheless true in the book of Malachi that even God does not like to see that broken.

He hates it. That's a strong statement. He hates that. And so we need to understand the idea of devotion that comes with love, with true love as well.

And this is something that is not being focused on. He wanted something and wanted something right now. Now we see in the next few verses, in verses 3 and following, a character named Jonadab.

And this is wisdom without principle. Wisdom without principle. And Jonadab was a family member. He was one of David's brother's sons.

And so, a cousin to Amnon. And it says also here in verse 3 that he was a very crafty man.

This is the ESV. It's how they label it. Crafty. And it's not necessarily a negative word here in this sense. It's meant to be that he really understands how to get things done, basically.

He understands his idea. And that's a valuable person to have in any kind of business or any kind of, obviously, a royal situation here.

To have a counselor that understands how to get a job done. That is an important thing. But we'll also notice, not just in this passage, but in other passages where he is in, that he does make some valuable contributions.

But sometimes, it's a good, positive thing. And sometimes, it's like this. What are you talking about? So, it seems to be, I mean, you've probably seen politicians like this before.

Maybe not in real life. But, you know, maybe the movies or something like this. But a politician who knows how to get things done, but it doesn't really matter what it is.

Maybe so long as there's a little money under the table or something. He will go ahead and get that thing done. So, you know, if you need that, if you need the quickie divorce, he's got it taken care of.

And he can get it through without all the rules, without all the hoops that you have to jump through. Or, you know, you need to get your house on the market.

He can take that care of that for you. Or get your house sold or something of that nature. And I'm just thinking of things off the top of my head there. But nonetheless, it's like one of those crooked politicians.

That kind of thing. And this is this young man here. He may know how to get something done when it comes to helping somebody out. To think about just maybe they think that something worse has happened than what has actually happened.

He's able to comfort them in that way, which he does later on in chapter 13. Or he's able to help one of his friends get the girl he wants.

Like he's going on right here. And so this is a guy that, yeah, he knows what he's doing. He is wise in the ways of life. He is wise in the way of how things can happen and how to get things done.

But he has no scruples. He has no ethics behind that at all. And so we have to be concerned and careful about how we handle things.

When we are thinking about how to handle our life concerns, our life decisions, situations with our families. With the way we handle finances.

With the way we handle properties and other things that we may happen to do in business and other situations. We need to take care of how we handle them carefully as well.

And here is the guy. And what did he do? He gave Amnon an opportunity to trick her. This is not Amnon's idea. Amnon was not smart enough to do this.

He was, you know, verse 2, he was hurting over it. He didn't know what to do at all. And so Jonadab gives him the idea. In verse 5 he says, Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill.

And so he was already kind of getting there to begin with. Because he was getting himself ill. So just get your rest of the way ill. You may have to fake it.

But you do it. And then he knew something about David. This is an interesting thing, what's going on. Because it kind of gives us a little insight about King David and how he treated his children.

It says, When your father comes to see you, say to him, Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat and prepare the food in my sight, so that I may see it and eat it from her hand.

Okay, so he needed someone to come in and to take care of him in a very nurturing way. So he needed someone to take care of the food, to take care of maybe some food that's comparable to, let's say, if we're making someone chicken noodle soup when they're sick, chicken broth or something.

You know, something comforting for them to eat while they are sick, to help them feel better. And, you know, it's probably like having a sugar peel. It just kind of makes you feel better.

You think you're helping yourself more than you actually are. Well, nonetheless, he needed that. Well, let's see. He needed to have one particular person out of all of the entourage that he has, out of all of the maybe ladies-in-waiting in the house, or all of the female servants or the male servants that may be around, or his own mother.

You know, there's so many people that he could have chosen that could have done that for him. And probably would have done that for him. I mean, one, he's the crown prince.

He can make many of them do that for him. And so it's an odd situation that he's asking, and it is really a strange question for such a protected young lady as this virgin Tamar to be placed in this type of position.

But yet David, an insight right here, is that perhaps he is way too indulgent with his children in this situation. It's a really good, you know, really good evidence of that.

And there's other places in the Bible where David is shown to be quite indulgent when it comes to his children, especially Absalom. But we'll get there. And so Amnon, he is giving Amnon what he wants.

And something that Jonadab, he just, Jonadab's saying, do this. And it really is, this idea is banking on the fact that David's going to do it. It's like, so he has an idea that David's actually going to do this for Amnon before David does it for Amnon.

So it says he's done it before. It says this is a habit of his. Terrible situation. Terrible situation. This kind of speaks to me as well, myself, because, you know, it's easy to allow a child to get what he wants if it doesn't seem to be that big of a deal.

It really does. But then it becomes more, and then it becomes more, and then they have you proverbially wrapped around your little finger.

And it's easy to get that way. And it's easy to make them spoiled. And, of course, they get around grandparents. They're just going to be spoiled anyway. So this is an interesting insight of David right here.

And what we're going to find about David after this, after, you know, hearing about chapter 11, the Bathsheba and Uriah, and even through the repentance, even though this is a man after God's own heart, even though this man writes some beautiful psalms and has some wonderful insights into who God is and the great things that he has done and he does do, we're going to find some major life problems with him, you know, some major issues that are going to affect his life, is going to affect his relationships with many people, family, friends, people that are, you know, work with him, that kind of situation.

So this is going to be a difficult thing to grasp because David's a hero of the faith. And we're going to see how a hero of the faith is failing at life, failing it at living to please God.

And so this is an interesting, so this is just going to be a tough road to hoe, I think, on that one, on that front. So wisdom without principle, not just Jonadab, but even David in this particular situation.

David being very wise but choosing to give his children maybe a little more than they need. And then the third one, verses 8 through 15, violence without concern.

And yeah, this is without concern for pretty much anything. All he wanted was what he wanted right then and right there, and he wasn't even thinking about himself over the long term and what's going to happen.

And we're going to see this in this passage, especially as Tamar warns him of that herself. We're going to see that Tamar in this passage is trapped. First, I mean, really, it even starts before verse 8.

It's when Amnon goes to David, or as David comes to Amnon because he's in bed, and Amnon says, I need Tamar to come feed me something. And David said, okay, Tamar, go feed him something.

Go work for him. So Tamar gets to do what she is told by her father and the king. And so she's doing that, and she is really finding herself more and more trapped.

She doesn't necessarily know that. She's kind of gullible, but why not? I mean, you can't think that your brother's going to do that. Unfortunately, that actually happens more often than we like to admit, unfortunately.

But nonetheless, that's another aside. But you see on verse 8, Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house where he was lying down.

And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. So as she was doing that, he was seeing her.

He was seeing her hard at work. And she took the pan and emptied it out before him. But he refused to eat. Why? Well, because the pan was sitting right there, and he'd have to actually pick it up and put it in his mouth himself.

He didn't want to do that. He wanted Tamar to do that for him. Okay. So he says, Send out everyone from me. And as Amnon asks people to do, they do.

Okay. And that's what happened. Everyone went out. Verse 10. Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food into the chamber that I may eat from your hand.

And if you're going to do that, you're going to do that in the right way. And to keep from spilling or keep from getting him all messy, you come close. You come close to do that.

She's being a nurse here. She's being a good nurse. Okay. Then verse 11. When she brought them near to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, Come lie with me, my sister.

So here she is, trapped. And as you see, it was a progression. It was to David sending her, and then Amnon sending, you know, getting her to cook, and then sending everyone out.

All the people who would protect her and keep her from being raped were sent out. And then she had to come all the way to him at this point.

Again, still having to do what she's told. He is the crown prince. Okay. And he took her.

And then you find out that she's also ignored. What's she ignored about? Well, verses 12 and 13 say that. It's four different pleas. And they're desperate pleas that she's going there.

Verse 12, it says, No, do not violate me, my brother. For such a thing is not done in Israel. That's the first thing. What you're doing to me is not done in Israel.

Now, he is a king. Crown prince, going to be a king. And, you know, in other kingdoms, the kings may want to do what they're going to do. And yes, it wasn't uncommon to hear of someone else in another kingdom marrying a half-sister or cousin or somebody like that.

It wasn't that uncommon. You're keeping the royal line the royal line, basically. But nonetheless, in Israel, it was not to be done.

Matter of fact, the Mosaic law says it's not to be done. Leviticus chapter 18, verses 9 and 11 is one example of a place where it says it's not to be done. So it's not going to be done in Israel.

The second one, she would be shamed. As it says right there in verse 13, As for me, where could I carry my shame?

Now, that's a pretty desperate plea right there. I mean, we already know that the way he's acting, he probably is not thinking of her at all.

But at the same time, he's not thinking of himself because she also says something about him as well in verse 13. And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel.

Outrageous fools. Now, fool is that this word here may mean something different than what we might think of just someone that's dumb, basically. But this is someone that is doing something gross, doing something violent.

I mean, we would think this is not like a, I don't know, I'm thinking of just a general dumb guy. I don't know who that is. I'm not going to even go there because I might offend someone.

Charles Manson. I mean, this is kind of where we're going here, okay? This is really what the fool, outrageous fool kind of idea is. The word there in the Hebrew is nabal.

And if you remember from 1 Samuel, where David found a man and his wife, and this man was doing some crazy dumb things, really just trying to keep him away.

And he actually pretty much found a way to not kill himself necessarily, but walked into a place where he died. And his name was Nabal, and her name was Abigail, and he married her.

David married Abigail, the widow of Nabal. So that name may not necessarily have been his actual name his parents gave him, although you never know.

But nonetheless, that's what he was known to be. He was known to be an outrageous fool as well. And this was, Amnon was going to be considered this as well, an outrageous fool.

And then the fourth is the most desperate of them all. I mean, this is an idea of to consider marriage to fulfill the sexual desire.

And it's right there at the bottom of verse 13. And as for you, you'll be one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now, therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.

Well, okay. This is a desperate, desperate, desperate plea. We definitely understand what she's talking about. It doesn't really line up with the law, per se.

I doubt David would give Amnon, or give Tamar to Amnon. Probably not, because that's not really the Bible.

But then again, there's lots of other scripture that has been broken in the last few chapters, much of it by David. So, who knows? But Leviticus 20, 17, also talks about not marrying or not really seeing the nakedness, literally, of a sister, and in this case, a half-sister as well.

You know, don't marry your father's daughter or your mother's daughter. Speaking of a half-sister, full sister and half-sisters both. And then also, Deuteronomy 27, 22.

Moses put two groups of people on two different mountains, and one of the things they said right there is that we will not, and this is not just the king or royalty, but this is everyone in Israel, they will not marry their siblings.

And really, even there, they won't even marry their moms and dads either. So, I hope you can imagine that. But, this was a desperate attempt to escape this situation.

And even then, this would be better than being raped at the same time. As horrible as that may be, it's not quite as horrible as a rape.

But yet, she is ignored. Ignored. And then, she's raped. And then, she's despised.

In verse 15, Amnon hated her. And he said to her at the end of that verse, get up, go. So, now she's no longer despised, but now she's being thrown out of his presence as well.

And that's where the next few verses, disgrace without recourse. Here she is, being ignored again. After she's fighting for the plea of, you know, don't throw me out.

What does she say there in verse 16? It says, Know my brother for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other you did to me.

See, when he raped her, he has, he has authority over her now. He's now, he's now pretty much hers to care for. I mean, his to care for.

He has to care for her now. That's his, that's his concern now. He took that. That's his concern. That's, that's basically what he had to do.

And now, he's throwing her out. She's now banished. She's now banished, ruined.

And verse 17, it says, not only did he banish her or told her to leave, he got someone to do it for her. He had all the health in the world, but he got someone else to do it for her.

called the young man who served him, put this woman out of my presence, and bolt the door after her. He was serious.

It was a violent hatred, as it said, a hatred that was even stronger than the lust he had for her before this outrageous, violent act.

and what does it say about her as well? She is ruined. In verses 18 and 19, you see some description about what she was wearing, a long robe with sleeves.

You think of Joseph in the many colors, the coat of many colors, a favored coat. this kind of thing is going on right here. This is a long robe that the virgin daughters wore.

These were special ladies in the kingdom. and now she had to tear it and now she had to put ashes on her head.

She is ruined. She's disgraced. And she's crying aloud as she went. She knows it as well. She may have not had a clue that Amnon was going to do all the things that he did beforehand, but now she knows exactly what that means.

just five, ten minutes what great change can happen. And then we see well, verse 20, we continue on and this is also difficult to see too because it's not just Amnon that does something to her as well.

It's Absalom. He doesn't do anything. That's the problem. He doesn't do anything. Has Amnon your brother been with you?

Now hold your peace my sister. He is your brother. Do not take this to heart. Now that comforting or what? Or what? It's not.

And the fact is it's calculating is really what it is. He has something else on his mind. He's going to take care of it. But not now.

And then you see anger without justice. And this is really applied to King David himself. In verse 21, he heard these things happen.

What happened? Did he execute justice? Did he bring Amnon to a place where he saw what wrong he did?

No. No. No. He's angry. He's angry. Yeah. He did so much good to be angry.

Now actually that anger could have been good because that anger could have led to justice but he did not do anything with it. And he had reason to do something with it.

He had the ability to do something with it. Not only was he Amnon's father which is ability enough was the king.

And here he was not executing the justice that the king needed to execute in any situation especially this one. He didn't do it.

Indecision. Just angry. Vicious. Might even be heated anger. But it doesn't mean much.

And Absalom as well. He had hatred for Amnon and we end with hatred once again. But nonetheless even at this point he could have done something that could have may have even made matters worse but it may not have because when you allow anger and you allow hatred to just continue to boil and to continue to seethe it's gonna be worse it's gonna it's gonna it's not gonna help anything out whatsoever and this is not just true here it's true in all of life you know when we allow things to just continue to go as they are even they are even though issues need to be addressed and they just keep going as they are things continue to get worse and worse and worse whether it is an anger situation or a roof leak or whatever it might be things just get worse and this is something he just he said he said nothing to

Amnon neither good nor bad just nothing so he didn't do anything king David didn't do anything and here's Tamar not just violated from her half brother but now not even being properly protected from her full brother and by her father the king absolutely terrible terrible situation so what do we do with this next week we're going to talk about hatred without restraint and finish this up and see what happens in this situation unfortunately it took a long time for this situation to come to a full close and it didn't really ever come to a full close that's the problem especially that's the problem when you allow things to just continue to fester and continue to seethe without taking care of situations

I don't know how many times I've talked to families including my own of that Thanksgiving dinner or that family get together family gathering reunion whatever it might be that the elephant in the room is never going to be addressed that that that you know person that is making some terrible choices or that relationship that is not going very well father son mother daughter father daughter parents children whatever it may be sisters brothers and it makes these reunions get worse and worse and worse because nothing is ever done about it and sometimes it's not easy to address these concerns but they are necessary to address terrible things happen

David's people have said in about this passage of scripture chickens have come home to roost you look at David and Bathsheba and Uriah the Hittite and you see some very similar situations going on here as well this still could have happened even if David had never known Bathsheba this could still have happened I imagine if that was the case there would have been justice that's also what sin does too sin just allows you to not do what you're supposed to do David was forgiven for that sin the Lord forgave David as Nathan told him and showed David by David not dying there were still consequences to be paid but he was not going to die for that sin he was to be forgiven and David even knew that he wrote

Psalms about it but there's still something that didn't happen there's still things that didn't happen in his life that allowed him to fully get over it and show that and I think this is one of those right there with the way he handled his family the way he handled justice as well a good note to end on God's grace is sufficient Jesus Christ was our substitute he died on a cross he suffered the shame that we deserve to suffer he died the death that we deserve to die and he became sin he became that sin offering who knew no sin so that we may be declared righteous that is good news and that's something that when we hear these passages of scripture and read them and study them we can be thankful and we can bank on the reality that Christ is our savior and our lord and a moment is moment